If we don’t have safety in our homes, how can we provide safety anywhere else? If we’re going to address crime in our communities, it starts by addressing it in our homes. A criminal at home is a criminal on the streets.

I’ve lived this reality my entire life. I grew up in a house full of abuse and neglect, where I lost my mother to cancer at the age of 10. In 2019, I lost my baby boy, Colton, when my estranged husband showed up at our house and brutally murdered him. I nearly lost my life that day from the strangulation and beating I took trying to protect my children, but thank God my daughter, Camryn, survived.

When I held my son for the last time in the funeral home, I told myself I couldn’t let this continue on. It was in that moment I realized, if I don’t step forward, there will be another Colton, another Cassandra out there. I was going to give myself a purpose by giving Colton a purpose—I resolved to turn my heartbreak into action and give a voice to the voiceless.

As someone who has lived through an unfathomable tragedy, I’ve seen firsthand the many failures that plague our country and the gaps in our system that are not being addressed.

My ex-husband was in the military, federally recognized as an officer, yet never received any help. Why aren’t we better supporting our veterans and their mental health?

Many court systems force victims to face their abusers, often hours after an extremely violent situation. The courts forced me to testify against my ex-husband, which put me in even greater risk, even though I had notified them I was scared for my life. Why is our court system putting targets on victims like this?

Police are frustrated by the law, because after navigating the chaos of a domestic violence house call, most of the time either the abuser pressures the victim into recanting their statement and not pursuing charges, or the court system gives the abuser a slap on the wrist, like anger management or a short order of protection. Police know they’ll be right back at that house again. Why aren’t we better equipping law enforcement to navigate these emotional and dangerous situations?

Most judges handling these cases are not trained in domestic violence, they’re generalized judges handling very complicated situations. Often the court system scares very emotionally-fragile victims, especially when DCFS is involved. Why are we not giving our judges better training and providing specific supports for domestic violence victims?

Often the most victims can get from the courts is an order of protection. When I share my story with police departments and court systems, I tell them to take a piece of paper and hold it over their hearts, then I ask, “Would you feel protected if I tried to shoot you through that piece of paper? That’s what you’re giving us as victims.” That piece of paper doesn’t protect victims in any way, shape, or form, because by the time there’s enough evidence to prove that order of protection has been broken, it’s usually when there’s a coroner at the door. Why aren’t we using GPS monitoring more frequently to provide victims more protection? Why don’t we have a national domestic violence registry to track abusers?

Courts are giving known abusers the ability to visit with their children, even though it’s been proven if an abuser can no longer physically harm their significant other, they often seek to abuse them mentally by

physically abusing the children. Innocent children are being abused and even killed in visitations. Just last year, Illinois passed a law that says if you are found guilty of animal abuse or neglect, you are no longer allowed to own an animal—yet we keep putting our children back with abusive parents. Why are we putting children into situations we wouldn’t even put animals?

Thanks to a law I helped unanimously pass in Illinois in my son’s name in 2021, Colton’s Law, we’re asking these questions for the first time ever. Colton’s Task Force is taking a systemic approach to addressing and preventing domestic violence, proactively helping victims and abusers so we can finally break the cycle of abuse.

Throughout this journey, I’ve heard from so many people across the country who have suffered their own tragedies. I realized I couldn’t just focus on my state, there are Coltons and Cassandras in every state and they need a voice too. We need this same comprehensive approach at the federal level. This isn’t a Republican or Democrat issue, it’s simple common sense—politics shouldn’t stand in the way of helping people.

Addressing violence in our homes would do so much to make our communities safer. Children who experience trauma at home often become abusers or victims themselves, and they bring that with them to school. Workers and bosses who experience trauma often perpetuate that cycle of violence in the workplace. Every act of mass violence can be traced back to violence and trauma that started in their home. Trauma is the gateway drug to all the crime problems we see in our communities today.

Let’s put an end to the cycle of violence. The kids experiencing trauma without help today are the adults who will be running our country in 20 years.